FORTE!

Search engines... mmm... yummy...

You haven't earned yourself the right of my contact info, but if you're here, you should know it already... if you don't, I don't like. You're ugly, annoying, or I just have something against you. Don't take it personally, though; you may be able to redeem yourself. Unless you name starts with a b and rhymes with men and your last name starts with a d and rhymes with mavis. Then you're too far gone for redemption.
Sat Oct 3

How to get Volume in your hair (if it’s long enough to get volume and short enough to not weigh itself down)

Ingredients:

Hairbrush, hair, figure skates, crazy-ass coach

Directions:

1. Forget hairbrush at friend’s house

2. Proceed unknowingly back home

3. Drive to skating rink; shake well

4. Skate until frothy; continue on medium-high speed until sore

5. Drive home; served best in front of a mirror (where you can enjoy your new found poofiness)